Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Why I Don't Want Children

If you're one of my female readers, and you're of an age where you can have children then you've probably been asked the dreaded question of "So when are you going to have kids?". For some people I'm sure this question insights joy for the future, for me I honestly couldn't think of anything worse. Especially when your reply is "I don't want children" and you're met with the reply of "well there's still time, you'll change your mind" or something similar. I can say with every once of my being I honestly don't want children, and I honestly won't change my mind.

I'm going to start by saying it's an incredibly archaic view in 2019 to think that every women wants a child to have a family, because realistically that's not a thing anymore. If you want or have children, that's great but at the end of the day it is a choice and one I'm very sick of having questioned. I know that some people honestly do change their minds on this matter but for some of us that isn't an option.

Personally I've always believed that to have a child I should have the right financial and physical situation for one, I know it doesn't always happen that way but I couldn't think of anything worse than not being able to support a child myself or to know be in the right mindset. I'm almost 24 and I quite honestly haven't even got to the point where I can make three meals a day for myself, or consistently wake up at a good time everyday? How the hell do I have the physical or mental capability to look after someone else when I can't look after myself?? I don't have a solid living arrangement, I don't own my house and there is absolutely no security with my current place. Financially by the time I pay my bills, debts, grandparents and food I'm pretty much broke so could I even afford baby bits if I wanted one? No.

The thing is I know myself, when I see young children I do not get filled with joy in fact you could argue the opposite, I feel no maternal need around children or even if I think about having them. I want a life that is filled with doing all the things that I want to; travelling, writing, reading, drinking my body weight in liquor yearly. There's no room in the lifestyle that I imagine for myself for children. I don't feel like in 2019 or any future years that I should have to justify that to absolutely anyone, especially not my family who can't stop asking the question every time I go home. 

I also have to mention here that the idea of pregnancy feels me with anxiety, I couldn't think of anything worse. I have a blood condition which means there are many complications with pregnancy if I could even conceive. That and the idea of something growing inside me and being dependant on me, terrifies me. I'm more than happy to just go home to a family of cats and partner if I ever have one!

This post is more of a rant than anything else. I'd love to know your thoughts on having children or a family.


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