Thursday, November 08, 2018

Feeling Lost

Hey lovelies, I keep promising to post regularly but hey life gets in the way; I’m honestly facing lots of things right now and I feel like a late teen pre-adult wreck who will probably never ever have her shit together.

I think I’ve hit the post academia slump again but this time harder? I’m taking some time out until April but I feel so lost and with no direction. The thing is I’m reading and still practising which is a lot considering I just finished but I don’t feel like I’m getting anywhere and maybe that because this is the first time I’ve been left without guidance or because I’ve allowed myself to sink into this mind frame where I think it’s okay to think about it all the time? Who knows.

I’ve found that the start of adult life is bloody terrifying, whilst working full time and within academia I always felt fulfilled and purposeful, and tired but now I honestly feel like I’m not doing enough even though I now effectively have two jobs.

I find it really hard to stay focused on things that I used to do all day every day and at first I thought it was a sign that I needed a break and that I had overworked myself but now it just makes me feel deflated thinking about it. It’s not that I’ve lost the passion for it because every time I see something new in my field it excites me and makes me want to perform better, and to be more involved. It just feels like there is a physical block there making me unable to do so.

Maybe it will be something that lifts with time, I’m just writing this to help relieve it from my mind. I’d also be super interested in reading or hearing about how others dealt with the post university feeling and how they used that or walked away from their area of academia or if they went into a graduate job. If anyone else has written posts on it, if anyone else is an artist who has felt this feeling or just anyone who has advice on this leave it in the comments I’d love to read it.

If you enjoyed this post check out my How I Deal With University Stress, My Favourite University Memories and 5 Tips for Preparing To Start University


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