Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Why I Don't Love My Body

Hey lovelies, this is something a little bit different to what I normally write, but I feel there is a pressure to be body confident in our day and age and I wanted to share why I'm not body confident and I don't love my body. I'm working towards it, so hopefully sharing this will help me move forward.


I think this is one of the big points for me as to why I don't love my body, comparison really is the thief of joy. I feel like my body isn't good enough when I flick through magazines and see stunning women in bikinis with no fat anywhere, when I flick on instagram and see the most beautiful women standing outside coffee shops or in Paris I instantly reflect on myself and think "I don't look like that" and I probably won't ever look like that and it makes me feel a hundred times worse about my body than I already did.


My boobs honestly make me hate my hate body more than anything else, I'm disproportionate, I have the roundest face ever but these are things on a day to day basis that don't make me constantly miserable, my boobs do. Since my early high school days I've been cursed with big boobs and this is probably where my hate for them started, in early P.E lessons other girls would laugh at me, make jokes and the boys were just as bad, my body became sexualised and this still happens in everyday life. Drunk men at work makes gross remarks at me, I've over-heard women saying I shouldn't parade them when I'm literally wearing a t-shirt and jeans. I'm catcalled in summer because of them, I feel like I have to cover up more - I just hate them and the way they make my body look and it's sad because I shouldn't feel this way. They've gone down three sizes since going to the gym but they're still massive, I'm thinking about going for a consultation later in the year and booking a reduction because I don't want to feel uncomfortable and miserable for the rest of my life.

Other people 

As quoted by xoface "Obesity, much like pregnancy seems to make people think they have every right to comment on your body". In my experience this is completely true. Especially when I was in high school I was an obese child/teen, I was ridiculously bullied and that's something that has stuck with me. It's hard to fall in love with your body when all you've ever heard is negative input about it from others. It took me a long time to get other the horrible things that these guys said about me at high school, including one guy taking photos of me and writing fat shaming comments all over them and posting on Facebook - it still mortifies me today.


It's a fact that depression can have an affect on self reflection and body image and this is definitely true for me. Especially in the days when I used to severely self harm, I've come a long way since then but I wouldn't say that I'm in a place where I'll love my body.

If you're a body positive person and love your body then honestly I admire you, I hope to have that mind frame one day.


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